


How Murdoc Made Christmas!

by tr_ash101



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Eve, Fluff, Gen, Grinch References, Murdoc needs a hug, Phase One (Gorillaz)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tr_ash101/pseuds/tr_ash101
Summary: Murdoc Niccals (notorious Christmas hater) is forced by Russel to put the gifts under the tree after Noodle goes to bed, in a full Santa suit. What happens when Noodle (Lou who?) sees Santa? Just a bit of Christmas trash for you all.





	How Murdoc Made Christmas!

 Every band member of the world-famous (not to mention renowned) band Gorillaz, up in Essex, liked Christmas a lot...

 But Murdoc Niccals, the grumpy bassist, who lived at the tippy top of Kong Studios, DID NOT! He hated everything about it, nobody exactly knew why, so don't ask. It  _could_ be that his skin was too green. It  _could_ be that is inverted cross necklace hung down too low. But I think the most likely reason, was that his old heart was two sizes too small. 

 "Ugh," He sneered, while taking a sip of beer, "They're playing all their damn music again!" He growled, tapping his long unkept fingernails on the can by his side. "Fuck this, I can hear that shitty holiday from a mile away."

 He sat moodily in his Murdoc-only armchair, on Christmas eve, as his Band-mates scurried around hanging tinsel, and 2D's attempts at drawing little elves. Whatever the reason, his drinking or his heart, Murdoc detested December 25th. He imagined 2D waking him up at a quarter-to-five, yelling about Santa coming, playing carols on his keyboard at full volume.  _The Noise! The Noise!_

And then Russel would walk around, trying to get everyone to pray before eating, like Christians did, insisting on him eating an extra helping of his specific low-calorie pudding. He'd spend all day cooking and bothering him about dinner, and put 2D in charge of the mess, leaving whatever he tried to cook burnt to a crisp, but still insisting that they  _Feast. Feast._

Murdoc just couldn't stand it. After all the torture, they would do something worse. So terrible, that it was unspeakable, only imaginable in his (slightly) drunken mind. They'd  _sing._ Not just sing something he could enjoy, but they'd sing those horrible carols, Jingle Bells, Deck the halls, something about a reindeer with a disorder, he didn't remember in his rage. All they would want to do was  _Sing! Sing!_

Just then, he got an idea.  _A morally negligible idea!_ Murdoc Niccals got an amazing, morally negligible idea!

 But his plans of arson were interrupted by a certain Drummer. 

 "Yo, Mudz, you zonin' out again?" Russel snapped his thick fingers in front of Murdoc's darker eye, only making him madder. 

 "Can't ya see I'm tryin' to think?" Murdoc seethed, leaning back into his chair. 

 "Yeah, have fun, Mudz," Russel rolled his eyes, or at least tried to. The effect was lost to Murdoc, due to Russel's completely white eyes. 

 "Do ya want somethin', or are ya just tryin' to piss me off?" 

 "I need to ask you something, after Babygirl gets in bed." Russel yawned, glancing at the clock. 9:05. He doubted she could manage to sleep, once he and 2D explained what Christmas was, she was ecstatic for the holiday, learning as much about it as she could, despite her limited English skills. Santa was by far her favorite thing to hear about, and Murdoc knew all too well that he'd have his nose broken again if he  _educated_ Noodle about Santa's existence.  

 "Fine, and quit playin' that music in the house." He scowled, leaning his chin on his tightly balled fist, and his mind wondered back to what brand of gasoline he favored when it came to lighting fires. Just when he decided on what to use, his thoughts were paused when Noodle gave him a hug, smiling with,  _Christmas cheer._ Sickening, he thought. 

"Oyasumi nasai, Mu-doc." She grinned. Noodle hadn't been able to pick good night yet, but she was practicing hard. 

 "Night, kid. Did ya know Christmas started as a pagan ho-" Murdoc's honorable attempts to correctly inform Noodle were stopped in their tracks by a flick from Russel. Just as he was going to retaliate, Russel had already led Noodle to her room down the hallway. Russel stayed in there for around ten minutes, and flipped off the lights when he left, closing the door, hardly making a peep. 

 "Thanks for not spilling the beans, Mudz," Russel rubbed his eyes, and popped his back. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd would've thought you had a soft spot for her." 

 "Eh, shut up. What'd'ya want anyways?" Murdoc frowned, he swore to himself that if Russel asked him to put on the reindeer ears, he'd jump off of the balcony of the studio. 

 Russel pulled out an extra large, bright red coat from under the couch, along with a pair of similarly colored pants, finished off with a strap on white beard. "I was planning on doing it tonight, but I'm not supposed to drink coffee, so I can't stay up to put the presents under. I have to wait until 'D goes to bed too. Can you do it, just this once?" 

 This was unspeakable! To ask a dedicated Satanist to dress as Santa was abominable! "Hold on, you think I'm gonna do that? 'Ell no! Nothin' you can say'll convince me!" He said with finality, he was the leader of the band, he wholeheartedly believed Russel couldn't order him around. Russel's eyes narrowed dangerously. 

 "Put. It. On. Put the gifts under the tree. It's a tradition, Mudz, and I want you to do it," Russel dropped the clothes on Murdoc's lap. "Or I promise you're gonna see more than one star." 

 "For Satan's sake,  _fine._ Just go to bed, will ya?" 

 "Okay, Mudz, the gifts are on the third floor, in the back of the closet, in a sack," Russel instructed, wishing he could get a picture of Murdoc in the outfit. "Good luck, Santa." 

 Russel walked off, humming  _'We Wish you a Merry Christmas'_ leaving an annoyed Murdoc glowering in his arm chair. He decided that he hated Christmas just a little bit more, if that was possible. 

  **XXX Four Hours Later XXX**

 Murdoc pulled on the outfit Russel gave him, all of it was at least five sizes too big, and the strap on beard covered his face entirely, to the point he couldn't even pop in a cigarette without being incinerated. He finished it off with the traditional Santa hat, and the black boots he already had on. Looking at himself, he looked certifiably insane, but at least if the paparazzi managed to get a picture (if they could get past the zombies), they couldn't tell which band member he was. 

 On his way downstairs, he picked up the presents, and slung the sack over his back. He walked past 2D's room, making sure he was asleep. Just like he guessed, Murdoc heard the sounds of soft snores, and a white noise machine. Now that the coast was clear, he slinked into the living room, and dropped the sack next to the extravagantly decorated tree. His family never had one when he was a kid, but he figured they were useless at a young age. There were already a few gifts under the tree, all tied up a with a bow, each one a different color. 

 He started with the stockings, all lined up on the mantelpiece. They all were knitted, even the one Noodle wanted to make Murdoc was made with care. He filled them silently, little puzzles and crunch candies for 2D, a collectible rap album for Russel, a Pokemon game and a few _festive_ (Murdoc deeply resented the word) candies for Noodle, and to his surprise, a package of high-end cigarettes that could only be for him. 

 Just as he began to unpack the gifts, he heard the shuffle of footsteps behind him. When he abruptly turned on his heel, he saw Noodle, without her radio helmet for once, looking up at him with wide eyes. He began writing his will in his head, if Russel found out, he'd be hung by morning. Her confused expression turned into one of pure joy. "Santa?" She asked, grinning. 

 "Uhhh," He figured that the beard must be covering his face, and the coat was too big to discern who he was. He put on a deeper voice, something he picked up years ago, from his brother. "Yeah, ho ho ho."

 Noodle's smile widened. "North Pole?" 

 "Yeah, sure," Murdoc panicked a little, tax fraud was a piece of cake, but deceiving her at the moment was far more complex. "What'd'ya want for Christmas, kid?" 

 Noodle pursed her lips in thought, was that the wrong question? Murdoc could've sworn that asking a kid that was a Christmas thing. Maybe he should've done a little research instead of fantasizing about lighting Santa's workshop on fire. "Guitar," She paused, looking down. "And happy Christ-mas for Murdoc." 

 She was rarely able to string a sentence like that together, but Murdoc was more concerned with the second bit. "What'd'ya mean?" 

 "He not happy." Noodle's face fell a little. "Russ-el says he the Grinch." 

 Murdoc wanted to make Russel pay for that one, but he was too taken aback for words to come out immediately. She was worried about him? Someone hoped that he was happy? Maybe all that bullshit Russel was talking about togetherness and kumbaya or something like that was true. Murdoc recalled Russel reading some picture book to Noodle on the couch while he was trying to have a smoke, and Noodle's rapt attention was exactly the same as it was here. Only one little thought came to the Satanist's brain, something he'd never be caught dead thinking in any other situation.  

  _Maybe Christmas... Perhaps... Means a little bit more._

"I'll talk to 'im, he'll be fine." Murdoc was grateful for the beard that hid the smile pulling at his lips. "To bed with ya, kid, I can't work with ya here." 

 "Oyasumi nasai!" She smiled and gave him a quick hug, hopping off to her room right after, leaving Murdoc to unpack the gifts. He laid each one down with care, like it was made of glass. Once they were all laid out, he tightened the sack, and left it in a closet. He tip-toed back to his room, and shut the door. One by one, he pulled off the Santa outfit, and left it in a heap on the dresser, pulling on a simple purple button-up and pants. He checked the time, 1:26. For the first time in a while, he was exhausted. He collapsed on the bed, and realized that it was already Christmas.  _And it wasn't half bad for the first hour._

**XXX 6:28 A.M. XXX**

 "Oi! Mu-doc! It's Christmas, Santa came!!!" Mudoc awoke to the sound of 2D pounding on his door, urging him to come out. Murdoc rubbed his eyes, and managed to pull himself out of bed. 

 "I'm awake, faceache, shut it!" Murdoc pulled open the door, to see 2D in pajamas, jumping for joy. 

 2D led him to the living room, with Russel and Noodle following not far behind. Murdoc tensed a little, wondering if a night of sleep helped her recognize who "Santa" was. She looked every inch as excited as 2D, speaking frantically in Japanese. Murdoc fell into a chair, and Russel plopped down next to him, wearing his Santa hat. Russel smirked at Murdoc, and yawned. "How'd you sleep, Babygirl?" 

 "I saw Santa!" Noodle grinned, causing 2D to perk up immediately. Russel turned to Murdoc, giving him a death glare that Murdoc would have cowered from if he looked him straight in the eye. 

 "Ya did? 'Ow tall was 'e? Was 'e fat? Wa-" 2D asked, until Murdoc interrupted him.

 "All ya need to know is that 'e's a real handsome devil." Murdoc said, as Russel's eyes were turning into white slits. 

 "What'd Santa say?" Russel leaned forward, already writing Murdoc's obituary. 

 "Asked what I wanted for Christmas." Noodle said matter-of-factly. "Santa is nice." 

 Russel laughed, looking like he wasn't about to put Murdoc six feet under for once. "Well that's good, you wanna open the first gift, Noodle?"

 "Hai!" Noodle giggled. Murdoc snickered, and lit a cigarette, leaving himself a mental note to gloat to Russel later. 

**XXX 10:46 PM XXX**

Murdoc laid back in his armchair, looking over the aftermath of the holiday. Wrapping paper and ribbons littered the floor, along with some of 2D's candy wrappers. Russel was dozing off on the couch, and 2D was already fast asleep on the floor, curled up next to the tree in a gingerbread-man blanket. Just as Murdoc guessed, 2D burnt the turkey to a crisp, so they ended up with Chinese takeout, which they all preferred anyways. Noodle seemed to be the only other one awake, and she was plopped in front of the tree, by 2D, admiring the red glass of Russel's ornaments. 

 "Ya know, love, the tree ain't changin' anytime soon, ya don't need to monitor it." Murdoc grinned, and Noodle turned to face him, smiling back. 

 "Talk to Santa?" She asked, sitting Indian style in front of his arm chair. 

 "Yeah, I talked to 'im." 

 "What he say?" Noodle stared up with wide eyes. 

 "Well," Murdoc looked away with mock-worry. "I'm not sure if I should say." 

 "Onegaishimasu? Please?" 

 "Only if you don't tell Russ or 'D nothin'." 

 "Hai," Noodle zipped her lips like 2D showed her once. 

 "Alright then, since you promised," Murdoc scratched his strangely shaped nose. "'E said something about a nice-list, with you on it I s'pose. He also told me you were a tad worried 'bout me. Ya shouldn't be, really. I'm just fine." 

 Noodle beamed from ear-to-ear, and yawned. "I think it's past ya bedtime, eh?" 

 Noodle nodded sleepily in confirmation, pulling herself up. She pulled Murdoc into a hug, she sleepily said, "Oyasumi nasai."

 "Night, Love." Murdoc lit another cigarette, as the door to Noodle's room closed. For a moment, he thought that he may have actually enjoyed this Christmas, and that besides the fact that a religion of total pricks took over it, it could be fun. Then, another Christmas carol got stuck in his head, and his good mood started to fade. Murdoc revisited his thoughts from the other nights, and entertained another hostile takeover of the North pole. His then mind wondered back to the picture book Russel read Noodle, 

  _And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say,_

_That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!_

* * *

 

**_Hey, hopefully you liked that bit of Christmas trash. Really great holiday, but I'm proud to say I just about killed it with the cavity causing fluff that was this story. Thanks for reading all the way through. I know that Noodle doesn't speak a lot of English in Phase one, I'm so so so sorry about that, but i HAD to find away, my loophole is that she's picking up phrases and such, she's a smart cookie, so it seems reasonable. I also tried to balance Murdoc's asshole qualities and his proverbial fan-loving heart of gold, so let me know what you thought. Happy Black Friday!_ **

 


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